From the time several years ago and continuing today, Dee Henderson has become one of my favorite authors. This book met my expectations of a great story line and with her skills as an author.
Like many of her previous novels that I have read, this one interlaced characters from previous novels into the threads of her plot. This gave me, as the reader, a feeling of familiarity which drew me into the book.
The book centers around Paul Falcon and Ann Silver, two law enforcement officers. Paul soon falls in love with Ann and is determined to win her over despite her hesitation to become involved with anyone. However, the cases that both of them are working on keep drawing them together.
Ann is a mysterious woman who is hiding her own secrets and it is hard for her to trust anyone enough to divulge those to anyone. This is the biggest obstacle that keeps the two apart.
Not only is the book a love story between these two, but it is a murder mystery that keeps the reader guessing and surprised at the end. I highly recommend this book.
Have those of you, including myself, who work outside of the home experienced work burn out? I heard this questions on the radio as I was coming into work one morning. The hosts of the program were discussing work burnout. They went on to explain that this did not mean that you did not like your job, but you were just tired.
I could really empathize with their questions and comments. I feel I have the best job in the world and could not ever see myself doing anything different. I am a special education teacher. I love my job, but after 20+ years I am more than ready to retire. I think I would not be so frustrated if I could go home and unwind in a quiet house, but that is not the case. My husband and I have a daughter and her 3 young children living with us. Our house is in constant turmoil that accompanies a household with younger children. When I was younger and fresh into the teaching world that did not bother me. But as I get older, I feel as if I “run out of steam more quickly.” By the time I get home I am exhausted. But there is often still a day’s worth of housework to be done.
Over the last several years, I have begun to craft and sew quite a bit, which has worked its way into a small side business. I am approached frequently with requests to make something for someone and I usually say yes. I do get paid. This is what I want to do now, plus blog. I would like to just work out of home, but with my teaching responsibilities that is not feasible for two more years. I do have my retirement date set.
While I am still working outside of the home I have to learn to say “no” to requests that infringe on my time. Have you felt that when you are at home people think you don’t have anything to do or you are not busy? I have a large family that all live relatively close, which means we all rely on one another and that’s a good thing. However, there are times I have allotted for me crafting, sewing, or writing and often the demands of family will have to take first place. This is normal.
But like myself, I am sure you say no to very little requests on your time. Over the years, I have learned to say “no” more often. I no longer am involved with things like PTO and 4-H organizations although I’m still involved with my grandchildren’s school. Yes, I will help where ever I can, but I will no longer take on a leader’s role and responsibility like I did when my own children were younger. I will chose the activities that I involve myself in with great care so as to only involve myself in those things that give me pleasure and are of importance to myself and my family. I refuse to continue to overwhelm myself with responsibilities that I really do not want to do.
Kathryn of How does She Do It? said, “Because when you never say”no”, you lose the freedom to say “yes” to the things that really matter. ”
Are you the caregiver for your extended family? If so, how many generations are you caring for? Are they receptive to your help? These are some of the questions I have been asking myself lately.
First, lets start with my husband’s side of the family. He is the 5th of 8 sons. Pretty low on the totem pole right? With that large of a family I often wonder how we ended up as the primary caregivers for his parents. Don’t get me wrong. I would do it in a heart beat, it just makes me wonder.
Before my father-in-law passed away from cancer, it was my husband who took him to doctor’s appointments and helped manage medications. The funeral plans also fell upon us. Luckily, the family was appreciative and no ill words were exchanged.
That left his mother to care for. My mother-in-law is a beautiful, feisty lady. She can be as stubborn as they come. For quite some time she would not stay by herself so several of the brothers took turns staying with her. Eventually, all but 2 of them stopped leaving my husband and one other brother staying every other night. This lasted several months until some of the grandchildren stepped in. I’m glad to report that she now stays by herself.
Over the years this lovely lady has become more fragile and feeble although she would not admit that to anyone. She does not like or trust doctors and her medical care can be trying at times. She has given my husband control over her finances which she likes at times and hates at times. I often wonder if her other sons are aware of how time consuming and draining all this care can be.
Often my husband’s brothers will come to him for advice, conflict resolution among other things. I considered myself fortunate that I married the mature, responsible brother.
Now on to my family. I am the oldest of 3. I have a sister who is 5 years younger than me and a brother who is 6 years younger. We were raised by our maternal grandparents after the death of our mother. I was 10 at this time. My sister is a mature lovely young woman who has been a real friend in my life, although she lives several states away. Our brother lives in the neighboring state from me which is an 30 min. drive.
My brother was born with cognitive delays which were unaware to my mother at the time of her death. Due to this, his care has been a little more intense than with your typical child. Now R (my brother) has been fairly self sufficient for many years. He lived with my grandmother until her death. At that time my aunt and I put a trailer beside her house so we could help him. That did not go very well. R did not like living there and often did not stay there. He finally moved back to our home town.
At this point we lost contact with him for several years. When he finally came around again he had gotten himself in a lot of financial trouble. My sister and I started helping him out. He was without work, his unemployment had run out, and he was receiving no benefits. Due to his medical problems at the time he was working with an attorney to get disability. This took over a year. During this time my sister and I supported him financially. Since I lived closer, I took him to the grocery store, did his laundry, took him to doctor appointments etc. By the time he began receiving a disability check, his bills were up to date.
It didn’t take long however for him to get in financial trouble again. So we began working with him again. This time it was a little different though. He was getting his monthly disability check, but was unable or unwilling to put it towards his bills. I became very upset when he kept wanting help with utilities and other essentials while he was renting to own 72″ screen tv’s, leather living room suites, and multiple sound systems. My sister flew in to help but the situation got very bad and it ended with R trying to get a restraining order against us. It was dismissed. This was over a year ago and R still has not spoken to either one of us. It has come to my attention that his electric and water has been turned off and his living conditions are worse than ever. I’m not sure what to do at this point. I have reached out to him and am waiting to hear from him.
Most people our age have raised their children and are living what has been referred to as the golden years. My husband is 63 and I am 60. We both still hold down full time jobs and come home to a house full of little people plus our daughter. Our daughter is a recovering addict and she lives with us along with her 3 children ranging in age 11 to 2. At the present time, I have custody of the 2 older kids. Things are on the up side at the present time although we have had some rough and scary times over the last 12 years. But that is a story for another time.
So are you a caregiver for people in your extended family? How many generations do you help? Do they appreciated the help that you offer them?